Multiple choice question #56
You are a low-level minion hired by the Evil Mastermind to perform some important task--kidnap somebody, steal an artifact and deliver it to the Mastermind, or something along those lines. You accomplish your task, return triumphant to the Evil Mastermind, and demand the payment that the Mastermind promised you.
The Evil Mastermind gives you a long, appraising look, smiles oddly, and says: "Why, of course. Don't worry--I intend to see that you get exactly what is coming to you. Oh, yes, you're going to get exactly what you deserve." While the Evil Mastermind goes on chuckling to himself and exchanging Knowing Looks with all the other minions in the room, you:
a) Whoa, exactly what I deserve?!? Wow, what a deal!
b) Sneer at all of those other guys who told you that working for the Evil Mastermind was a poor career choice.
c) Now you have the Evil Mastermind exactly where you want him! You decide to get tricky and demand double payment for your action--that always works.
d) Run.
How do you answer? Solution follows:
(There is no correct answer. And you're standing on the trapdoor to the Rancor pit.)
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e) Use "Quick Draw" to draw my long sword, curse loudly, and roll for initiative.
(I got 17 after adjustments. What'd you get?)
I don't get it. I mean, I get it, but I don't get it - was work bad this week?
Peter: OK, the Evil Mastermind rolls a 12. So you get to act before he does.
The Rancor rolls a 19.
KDC: no hidden commentary about work or anything else intended by my post. I just happen to really appreciate the scene, present in about 34% of all action/adventure movies, in which the minion demands his promised reward from the Evil Mastermind and gets a knife in the back (or worse) instead. You'd think that a lifetime spent as a villain would train these guys to be more suspicious.
In other words, this post is exactly as shallow as it seems.
I'm a +14 for Beast Mastery. Can I charm the Rancor?
If you deliver an artifact/kidnapped person/whatever to the Evil Mastermind before getting paid, then I'm sorry to say that the Rancor pit is exactly what you deserve.
Did I make it into the room with a thermal detonator?
"Because he's holding a thermal detonator!!!" Classic.
See, if all criminal scum were as clever as our thermal-detonator-wielding friend Brian, the casualty rate among hired minions would be dramatically lower.
At this moment I am thankful that I returned to the Evil Mastermind riding my Liger, which of course was bread for its skills and magic. They don't stand a chance.
OK, let's see where we are here:
PCG, you draw your sword and attack the Evil Mastermind. With one well-placed blow you cleave his skull. He takes 12 points of damage and is stunned for 2 rounds.
Ron, you use your Charm Animal skill on the Rancor successfully. It agrees to become your familiar.
Brian, your throw your thermal detonator at the nearest minion. It kills the minion, but KDC and Jay's Liger are caught in the blast radius. KDC takes 3 points of damage and the Liger is thrown into a Berzerker Frenzy!!!
Jay, make a Saving Throw vs. Liger to regain control of your mount before it picks a fight with Ron's Rancor!
I cast Fireball! (Please don't fumble, please don't fumble. . .)
It is one of things I can never understand ... how people can think that way. It's so illogical that it can only be based upon moronity.